A few months back I started watching a Hindi serial…don’t laugh just yet, there’s more to come. And I enjoyed it…wait some more, please. And I noticed I had missed a few episodes. So I logged into an internet forum just to get updated…no, not just yet, and now am an active participant on the forum! Ok, you may laugh now, tell me when you are done…
Done? Already? Well, that was quick…so for the rest of the story…
Where was I? Oh yes, the forum…you may ask why…well it was quite simple actually. The show, you see, is very enjoyable! Lots of fun, lots of laughs, some romance, no melodrama and one cute face... But that’s not all. I have missed writing for some time now. And well, I am not the most imaginative when it comes to things to write about. Forever in search of that elusive muse (thank you Sara…). Funnily enough, with this show, I seemed to get that opportunity to write with the detachment I enjoy so much! So here I was, back in college, applying every psychological, philosophical, literary theory I had ever read about, to a half hour Hindi show. And trust me it’s been one hell of a roller coaster ride!
The forum has given me so much more than just a space to write. I have churned out some very interesting stuff and felt quite proud of myself sometimes. Not for the quality of writing, but for that of thought. Most important, however, is the fact that over the last 4 months I have had the pleasure of now sorting and grouping some amazing people around the world. All bound together with the common mania over the silly show, all intelligent, all perceptive, some more than others and some with a delightful mastery over words!!
Just a slap on my face…never deride something till you see it yourself. And boy was I lucky to discover this fascinating truth. I frowned and ridiculed the very concept I am so involved with currently. I love the gals there….each of them. And considering where I have been and the company I have kept, they are some of the smartest people I have known…the truly special ones know who they are, so I needn’t mention them. We seem to have overcome barriers of geography and time zones and unfamiliarity. All that matters is our oneness over the analysis of a daily show. AND NO IT’S NOT AN EKTA KAPOOR PRODUCTION!! I love you guys!!!
Forgive me, for the Merlot speaks….
Friday, February 1, 2008
Revelation!
Hmmm…
Always wondered how to talk to my blog without the fear of revealing too much to the world.
So along with being wry and detached, looks like I am fairly good at being obtuse when I want to too. Oh! This is exciting!!! So I get to write and express myself? Both at the same time??? Can the world actually be that kind to me????
Bless the blog!!!
Always wondered how to talk to my blog without the fear of revealing too much to the world.
So along with being wry and detached, looks like I am fairly good at being obtuse when I want to too. Oh! This is exciting!!! So I get to write and express myself? Both at the same time??? Can the world actually be that kind to me????
Bless the blog!!!
BLAH
Not going through the best of times…have so much to write and then again, when I sit to put thought to paper, I always fear.
Manu is being his difficult worst. Asserting independence does not have to necessarily be this difficult for him or me, right? A complete negation of the simplest requests, rolling on the floor, diversionary tactics to avoid being extricated from play…it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to be patient and not give him any kind of attention, good or bad! Oh trust me, right now I am not even entertaining thoughts of good attention. What I would love to do is give him a sound thrashing he will remember all his life. But that’s not done, neither is yelling ok. So through this all, not only am I supposed to coolly ignore, I am expected to praise him and compliment him when he does eventually give in after hours of contest. The pressure of it all is beginning to tell on me and I cannot let him know that either…so lots of time spent crying in the bathroom and returning with bloodshot eyes to his innocent comments on them! If only I wasn’t so concerned about making a good man out of him….
And of course as always, support is minimal. Whenever I complain about anything, Aniruddh promptly pipes in his own. Even if it is a simple thing like I didn’t sleep well last night, his lack of sleep always has to be more serious and worthy of attention. Sometimes I feel he fears that if my grievance is valid he might not get the attention he is so used to.
I wonder why grandparents are so blind to their grandchild’s problems. Why does it always have to be him with a reason and me being unreasonable? My mother’s answer to any tough time in my life is always PMS. My mother-in-law’s response will always be a sympathetic poor thing. Not for me, for the others, in this case Manu. Think of it, anybody who has to endure me is indeed in a pitiable state.
And at the end of it all, I am supposed to ignore everybody’s tantrums! God forbid I should have one of my own. Watch the world around me swoop down on me as would eagles on their prey.
Tantrums, I realized, much to my consternation, are not restricted to two-year-olds. Some adults have driven me up the wall with their craziness too. Obsession with trivialities, a need to glorify and be deified, using irrelevant excuses as crutches for bad behaviour, tiresome details, always good, always admirable, excessive self praise and an overbearing sense of self-worth. Me, me, me, I, I, I…it never stops!
But through it all shines a tiny sliver of hope. Much like a ray of light making its way through a crack in a door in a dark room. New acquaintances, some genuinely delightful, some wonderfully sensible, some endearingly supportive, some thankfully appreciative.
I should open that door some time soon.
Manu is being his difficult worst. Asserting independence does not have to necessarily be this difficult for him or me, right? A complete negation of the simplest requests, rolling on the floor, diversionary tactics to avoid being extricated from play…it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to be patient and not give him any kind of attention, good or bad! Oh trust me, right now I am not even entertaining thoughts of good attention. What I would love to do is give him a sound thrashing he will remember all his life. But that’s not done, neither is yelling ok. So through this all, not only am I supposed to coolly ignore, I am expected to praise him and compliment him when he does eventually give in after hours of contest. The pressure of it all is beginning to tell on me and I cannot let him know that either…so lots of time spent crying in the bathroom and returning with bloodshot eyes to his innocent comments on them! If only I wasn’t so concerned about making a good man out of him….
And of course as always, support is minimal. Whenever I complain about anything, Aniruddh promptly pipes in his own. Even if it is a simple thing like I didn’t sleep well last night, his lack of sleep always has to be more serious and worthy of attention. Sometimes I feel he fears that if my grievance is valid he might not get the attention he is so used to.
I wonder why grandparents are so blind to their grandchild’s problems. Why does it always have to be him with a reason and me being unreasonable? My mother’s answer to any tough time in my life is always PMS. My mother-in-law’s response will always be a sympathetic poor thing. Not for me, for the others, in this case Manu. Think of it, anybody who has to endure me is indeed in a pitiable state.
And at the end of it all, I am supposed to ignore everybody’s tantrums! God forbid I should have one of my own. Watch the world around me swoop down on me as would eagles on their prey.
Tantrums, I realized, much to my consternation, are not restricted to two-year-olds. Some adults have driven me up the wall with their craziness too. Obsession with trivialities, a need to glorify and be deified, using irrelevant excuses as crutches for bad behaviour, tiresome details, always good, always admirable, excessive self praise and an overbearing sense of self-worth. Me, me, me, I, I, I…it never stops!
But through it all shines a tiny sliver of hope. Much like a ray of light making its way through a crack in a door in a dark room. New acquaintances, some genuinely delightful, some wonderfully sensible, some endearingly supportive, some thankfully appreciative.
I should open that door some time soon.
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