Taking off from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (forgive me Eliot, for I have sinned!)
There will be time,
There will be time…
Time to please,
Time to preen.
A second to look,
A minute to gaze
An hour to hold
A day to keep,
A year to smile,
A decade to talk,
A lifetime to share,
Many births to care.
There will be time,
There will be time…
For now to be lost in later,
For here to be hidden behind where,
For this to be obscured by how,
For us to be marred by why.
There will be time,
There will be time.
But there is you,
There is I,
There is the rain,
There is the pain,
There are blue hues,
There are gossamer veils,
There are gusts of wind,
There are flashes of lightning.
There will be time,
There will be time.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
The Knukkad
A few months back I started watching a Hindi serial…don’t laugh just yet, there’s more to come. And I enjoyed it…wait some more, please. And I noticed I had missed a few episodes. So I logged into an internet forum just to get updated…no, not just yet, and now am an active participant on the forum! Ok, you may laugh now, tell me when you are done…
Done? Already? Well, that was quick…so for the rest of the story…
Where was I? Oh yes, the forum…you may ask why…well it was quite simple actually. The show, you see, is very enjoyable! Lots of fun, lots of laughs, some romance, no melodrama and one cute face... But that’s not all. I have missed writing for some time now. And well, I am not the most imaginative when it comes to things to write about. Forever in search of that elusive muse (thank you Sara…). Funnily enough, with this show, I seemed to get that opportunity to write with the detachment I enjoy so much! So here I was, back in college, applying every psychological, philosophical, literary theory I had ever read about, to a half hour Hindi show. And trust me it’s been one hell of a roller coaster ride!
The forum has given me so much more than just a space to write. I have churned out some very interesting stuff and felt quite proud of myself sometimes. Not for the quality of writing, but for that of thought. Most important, however, is the fact that over the last 4 months I have had the pleasure of now sorting and grouping some amazing people around the world. All bound together with the common mania over the silly show, all intelligent, all perceptive, some more than others and some with a delightful mastery over words!!
Just a slap on my face…never deride something till you see it yourself. And boy was I lucky to discover this fascinating truth. I frowned and ridiculed the very concept I am so involved with currently. I love the gals there….each of them. And considering where I have been and the company I have kept, they are some of the smartest people I have known…the truly special ones know who they are, so I needn’t mention them. We seem to have overcome barriers of geography and time zones and unfamiliarity. All that matters is our oneness over the analysis of a daily show. AND NO IT’S NOT AN EKTA KAPOOR PRODUCTION!! I love you guys!!!
Forgive me, for the Merlot speaks….
Done? Already? Well, that was quick…so for the rest of the story…
Where was I? Oh yes, the forum…you may ask why…well it was quite simple actually. The show, you see, is very enjoyable! Lots of fun, lots of laughs, some romance, no melodrama and one cute face... But that’s not all. I have missed writing for some time now. And well, I am not the most imaginative when it comes to things to write about. Forever in search of that elusive muse (thank you Sara…). Funnily enough, with this show, I seemed to get that opportunity to write with the detachment I enjoy so much! So here I was, back in college, applying every psychological, philosophical, literary theory I had ever read about, to a half hour Hindi show. And trust me it’s been one hell of a roller coaster ride!
The forum has given me so much more than just a space to write. I have churned out some very interesting stuff and felt quite proud of myself sometimes. Not for the quality of writing, but for that of thought. Most important, however, is the fact that over the last 4 months I have had the pleasure of now sorting and grouping some amazing people around the world. All bound together with the common mania over the silly show, all intelligent, all perceptive, some more than others and some with a delightful mastery over words!!
Just a slap on my face…never deride something till you see it yourself. And boy was I lucky to discover this fascinating truth. I frowned and ridiculed the very concept I am so involved with currently. I love the gals there….each of them. And considering where I have been and the company I have kept, they are some of the smartest people I have known…the truly special ones know who they are, so I needn’t mention them. We seem to have overcome barriers of geography and time zones and unfamiliarity. All that matters is our oneness over the analysis of a daily show. AND NO IT’S NOT AN EKTA KAPOOR PRODUCTION!! I love you guys!!!
Forgive me, for the Merlot speaks….
Revelation!
Hmmm…
Always wondered how to talk to my blog without the fear of revealing too much to the world.
So along with being wry and detached, looks like I am fairly good at being obtuse when I want to too. Oh! This is exciting!!! So I get to write and express myself? Both at the same time??? Can the world actually be that kind to me????
Bless the blog!!!
Always wondered how to talk to my blog without the fear of revealing too much to the world.
So along with being wry and detached, looks like I am fairly good at being obtuse when I want to too. Oh! This is exciting!!! So I get to write and express myself? Both at the same time??? Can the world actually be that kind to me????
Bless the blog!!!
BLAH
Not going through the best of times…have so much to write and then again, when I sit to put thought to paper, I always fear.
Manu is being his difficult worst. Asserting independence does not have to necessarily be this difficult for him or me, right? A complete negation of the simplest requests, rolling on the floor, diversionary tactics to avoid being extricated from play…it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to be patient and not give him any kind of attention, good or bad! Oh trust me, right now I am not even entertaining thoughts of good attention. What I would love to do is give him a sound thrashing he will remember all his life. But that’s not done, neither is yelling ok. So through this all, not only am I supposed to coolly ignore, I am expected to praise him and compliment him when he does eventually give in after hours of contest. The pressure of it all is beginning to tell on me and I cannot let him know that either…so lots of time spent crying in the bathroom and returning with bloodshot eyes to his innocent comments on them! If only I wasn’t so concerned about making a good man out of him….
And of course as always, support is minimal. Whenever I complain about anything, Aniruddh promptly pipes in his own. Even if it is a simple thing like I didn’t sleep well last night, his lack of sleep always has to be more serious and worthy of attention. Sometimes I feel he fears that if my grievance is valid he might not get the attention he is so used to.
I wonder why grandparents are so blind to their grandchild’s problems. Why does it always have to be him with a reason and me being unreasonable? My mother’s answer to any tough time in my life is always PMS. My mother-in-law’s response will always be a sympathetic poor thing. Not for me, for the others, in this case Manu. Think of it, anybody who has to endure me is indeed in a pitiable state.
And at the end of it all, I am supposed to ignore everybody’s tantrums! God forbid I should have one of my own. Watch the world around me swoop down on me as would eagles on their prey.
Tantrums, I realized, much to my consternation, are not restricted to two-year-olds. Some adults have driven me up the wall with their craziness too. Obsession with trivialities, a need to glorify and be deified, using irrelevant excuses as crutches for bad behaviour, tiresome details, always good, always admirable, excessive self praise and an overbearing sense of self-worth. Me, me, me, I, I, I…it never stops!
But through it all shines a tiny sliver of hope. Much like a ray of light making its way through a crack in a door in a dark room. New acquaintances, some genuinely delightful, some wonderfully sensible, some endearingly supportive, some thankfully appreciative.
I should open that door some time soon.
Manu is being his difficult worst. Asserting independence does not have to necessarily be this difficult for him or me, right? A complete negation of the simplest requests, rolling on the floor, diversionary tactics to avoid being extricated from play…it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to be patient and not give him any kind of attention, good or bad! Oh trust me, right now I am not even entertaining thoughts of good attention. What I would love to do is give him a sound thrashing he will remember all his life. But that’s not done, neither is yelling ok. So through this all, not only am I supposed to coolly ignore, I am expected to praise him and compliment him when he does eventually give in after hours of contest. The pressure of it all is beginning to tell on me and I cannot let him know that either…so lots of time spent crying in the bathroom and returning with bloodshot eyes to his innocent comments on them! If only I wasn’t so concerned about making a good man out of him….
And of course as always, support is minimal. Whenever I complain about anything, Aniruddh promptly pipes in his own. Even if it is a simple thing like I didn’t sleep well last night, his lack of sleep always has to be more serious and worthy of attention. Sometimes I feel he fears that if my grievance is valid he might not get the attention he is so used to.
I wonder why grandparents are so blind to their grandchild’s problems. Why does it always have to be him with a reason and me being unreasonable? My mother’s answer to any tough time in my life is always PMS. My mother-in-law’s response will always be a sympathetic poor thing. Not for me, for the others, in this case Manu. Think of it, anybody who has to endure me is indeed in a pitiable state.
And at the end of it all, I am supposed to ignore everybody’s tantrums! God forbid I should have one of my own. Watch the world around me swoop down on me as would eagles on their prey.
Tantrums, I realized, much to my consternation, are not restricted to two-year-olds. Some adults have driven me up the wall with their craziness too. Obsession with trivialities, a need to glorify and be deified, using irrelevant excuses as crutches for bad behaviour, tiresome details, always good, always admirable, excessive self praise and an overbearing sense of self-worth. Me, me, me, I, I, I…it never stops!
But through it all shines a tiny sliver of hope. Much like a ray of light making its way through a crack in a door in a dark room. New acquaintances, some genuinely delightful, some wonderfully sensible, some endearingly supportive, some thankfully appreciative.
I should open that door some time soon.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Smokers....
Paper, filter and tobacco
White and brown
Sleek and slender.
Flickering embers burn.
Acrid vapours inhaled
Rush into a dead head.
Smoke dances around
Seductively,
Swirling, meandering, sinuous moves;
Patterns emerge
Of entwined limbs
Playing coupling games
Of temptation.
Gyrating fumes
Unwind taut nerves.
Grey ash crumbles
As do walls of control…
Calm and quiet prevails.
Addicted???
White and brown
Sleek and slender.
Flickering embers burn.
Acrid vapours inhaled
Rush into a dead head.
Smoke dances around
Seductively,
Swirling, meandering, sinuous moves;
Patterns emerge
Of entwined limbs
Playing coupling games
Of temptation.
Gyrating fumes
Unwind taut nerves.
Grey ash crumbles
As do walls of control…
Calm and quiet prevails.
Addicted???
Schools
A pertinent heated discussion tonight at dinner….
As if it wasn’t bad enough that I had talked non stop for over three hours trying to knock some sense into people who cannot differentiate between plural nouns and corresponding plural verbs!!!
Manu is two years old…time for that all important decision about which school to send him to. I am most disappointed that all my grand plans of letting him enjoy his childhood till he’s four have gone down the stinkiest drain possible! For one, admissions for children born before December ’05 end this October, when Manu turns a wee 3!!
My husband and I share the same alma mater. At least the last four years of my school life. a school that I associate with all the things wrong with the current education system. A school that believed that a child is intelligent only if he/she performed academically, a school that actually had a separate section for the average students, a school that did not know how to spell extra curricular activity, a school that believes in testing you every alternate week, a school that believes that interaction with the opposite sex will only distract you from academia, a school that respects only math, physics, chemistry, biology and computer science as subjects worthy of merit…oh I could just go on!!! Essentially a school I detest.
Aniruddh loves it!
It is indeed strange that being a better student at school than he was, I hate the school more than he does. I do not want my son to suffer academic pressure and be taught that if he stays back in his own country and chooses a non professional course after school, it is because he isn’t intelligent enough. I want my son to play, to fall, to open his books when he wants to and to learn in a way that he enjoys!
Is that asking for too much???
As if it wasn’t bad enough that I had talked non stop for over three hours trying to knock some sense into people who cannot differentiate between plural nouns and corresponding plural verbs!!!
Manu is two years old…time for that all important decision about which school to send him to. I am most disappointed that all my grand plans of letting him enjoy his childhood till he’s four have gone down the stinkiest drain possible! For one, admissions for children born before December ’05 end this October, when Manu turns a wee 3!!
My husband and I share the same alma mater. At least the last four years of my school life. a school that I associate with all the things wrong with the current education system. A school that believed that a child is intelligent only if he/she performed academically, a school that actually had a separate section for the average students, a school that did not know how to spell extra curricular activity, a school that believes in testing you every alternate week, a school that believes that interaction with the opposite sex will only distract you from academia, a school that respects only math, physics, chemistry, biology and computer science as subjects worthy of merit…oh I could just go on!!! Essentially a school I detest.
Aniruddh loves it!
It is indeed strange that being a better student at school than he was, I hate the school more than he does. I do not want my son to suffer academic pressure and be taught that if he stays back in his own country and chooses a non professional course after school, it is because he isn’t intelligent enough. I want my son to play, to fall, to open his books when he wants to and to learn in a way that he enjoys!
Is that asking for too much???
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Firsts...
So went to Goa…
Time of firsts…
First vacation for our tiny family.
First stay in a hotel for Manu
First ever sea side vacation for me…in 30 years have only visited the hills
First time I dared to walk across a shaky log bridge across a stream of water and didn’t faint half way through.
First time I wished I was home and not deal with my little one’s homesickness.
First time in a pool with my water loving son.
First time Ani and I did not fight during a vacation.
First time I heard my son order an ice-cream of his own accord.
First time I saw my son mimic the airhostess showing us the emergency exits.
First time the crew addressed me as Mrs. Sankaran as we deplaned without any introduction.
Time of firsts…
First vacation for our tiny family.
First stay in a hotel for Manu
First ever sea side vacation for me…in 30 years have only visited the hills
First time I dared to walk across a shaky log bridge across a stream of water and didn’t faint half way through.
First time I wished I was home and not deal with my little one’s homesickness.
First time in a pool with my water loving son.
First time Ani and I did not fight during a vacation.
First time I heard my son order an ice-cream of his own accord.
First time I saw my son mimic the airhostess showing us the emergency exits.
First time the crew addressed me as Mrs. Sankaran as we deplaned without any introduction.
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